The action starts off backstage where Jeremy Borash is standing with the Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Tara and Miss Tessmacher. They’re looking pretty snazzy in their matching black and red, a favorite color combo. Tara is looking fierce as always and well, Tessmacher just goes without saying. They look pumped and ready to go, yet extremely annoyed. JB makes a statement about this match being personal and Tess decides it’s time to finally speak up. She reminds her opponents of the night they jumped them in the parking lot like a couple of thugs. Why everybody gotta be thugs, huh?! *puts the blade away* Pfft.
Tara, ever so rowdy, says that they proved themselves in the ring and she doesn’t care of Sarita and Rosita bring Hernandez or that freakin’ puppet, they are leave freakin’ champions! Come on, Brooke! Um…..about that, someone obviously forgot to send Tara the memo. Anyway, I’ll let that settle and we’ll skip to the challengers making their way to the ring. They’re sporting their native colors and well, Sarita looks like a stand-in for a Cannibal movie. I’m sorry. I know why she’s wearing the mask but seriously, Abyss called. He really wants it back. You know he gets angry when his belongings go missing. They are accompanied to the ring by Hernandez and the puppet, Anarquia. This could get interesting.
Out last is the team of Taramacher, riding in on the crotch rocket and Tess wastes no time disrobing this evening. She takes it all off before even getting in the ring. You mean, no makeout session?! The audience is heartbroken. And so are Hernandarquia because Earl Hebner just kicked their ass to the back. Obviously, this doesn’t sit well with little Rosi because she starts taking off those twenty pound earrings, getting all up in Tara’s grill. She ain’t scared of you! She ghetto! Hold these, Earl! SLAM! Tara pushes her little feisty ass into the corner like a scolded step-child. The crowd is all over the veteran’s side and the chants start but the tag to Sarita is made and the tide could turn.
Or not.
She bumps up against Tara and off the rebound, gets a back body drop for her efforts. Up by the hair and the tag to Tessmacher. Forearms shots from the bootylicious Knockout, going right after the injured face of Sarita. That doesn’t last long because Sarita is quick to tag in her cousin but WHACK! Tess takes her down without a breath of hesitation. A wristlock into the corner and Tara is begging for a piece of the little chili pepper. She’s in, hands around Rosita’s throat and she just slams her down against the turnbuckles. But a hurricarana from little Rosi and…*deep breath* I gotta remember to breathe when I write these matches.
Tara is in the corner and Rosita runs in, getting a big boot to the face which knocks her for a fruit loop. Not so much so that she can’t knock Tara to the outside, giving Sarita ample room to catch her with a running roll drop. Rosita takes to Tessmacher, distracting the referee just long enough for Sarita to roll Tara back in. Rosi, trying to maintain momentum, gets dropped cold with a suplex when Tara rebounds and tags in Tessmacher. Back up with a dropkick and again, another tag to Sarita. Tessmacher is on fire tonight and is oddly impressive. She’s staying tight…well, until her back snaps and her face slaps the top turnbuckle. Ouch. I guess this calls for a ping pong tag between the Loco Latinas.
I think Sarita just pulled a triple whipper snapper. I do believe so. UGG SChweiz Add that assist splash and I’m seriously starting to get dizzy. All these tags back and forth. It’s all a blur. Wait! A rollup attempt but it’s no good! Sarita kicks out and goes for a clothesline but Tess ducks, tagging in her partner. Right hands from Tara to both latinas, finally taking Sarita down with a dropkick. A potential Widow’s Peak but Rosita tries to interfere, getting dropped by Tessmacher. And now we’re in a big heap of a mess. All four Knockouts are in the ring and it could get ugly. Point in concept, Rosarita just slammed into one another with an assist from Taramacher. But Hebner easily conducts order and Sarita hits some odd looking, nasty landing double underhook. The impact seems to even knock Sarita back because she doesn’t go for the pin.
This match is wearing me out. Love it but damn. I’m not even in the match and I feel beat up. Haha. Regardless, Tara slowly crawls her way over to Tessmacher but Rosita’s sneaky little ass on the outside drops her to the floor. This leaves Tara vulnerable and Sarita takes advantage with a pin attempt but no! Only the two count but the punishment is over. A tag into Rosita, double team attempt but double arm clothesline from Tara to the latinas. Sarita rolls out and Tara sets little Rosi up for the Widow’s Peak but she counters into a roll-up. Sarita on the outside with the assist but Tessmacher flies from out of nowhere, breaking it up. This is insane. My attention span has apparently dwindled because all I can do is blink.
A powerslam on Rosita from the fierce veteran but the momentum gets cut off at the quick with boots to the chest. It sends the bigger Knockout down long enough for Rosita to crawl to her corner for a pin but Tessmacher is on a mission. She’s on the outside and drops Sarita down, out of the way. No tag. No exchange. Tessmacher back up on the apron, making sure no funny business is going on and Tara finally locks in that Widow’s Peak. DAMN! Rosita hits hard and I’m pretty sure she just died on the inside. A very harsh, violent cover with the hand and knee smashed against the face. 1…2….3! Taramacher retains their Knockouts Tag Team Championships, the perfect accessory to their new attire! It’s asstastic!



